Trying to write my 1st English expression...

Is anything wrong with me ?!
The helpless feeling that I felt before was coming back.....
I can't even understand what am I doing for that time..
I just feel...disappointed, lost, scared

Now, even I've changed a lot..
but I just see that I'm staying at the same point...
still childish, hot-temper, stubborn...
Will you believe that I try?
If then why I'm still looking like the time when I lost....

My EQ control is really not well
that's why I always mad with someone..
I even know I was wrong...
but...based on the face problem...
I can't express well what I'd feel...
I'm trying to put it down, but it will not happen on every time...
I am a human,
I still need somebody to concern me, to worry me, even just a hug from someone else who is really know me, understand me....
when I'm sad.......
you even no need to say anything...
just a simple way
stay around me....
at least, let me know that still have somebody is worrying about me
I will quickly pick up all of my sadness
and face you again with my smile

Properly, there were some secrets were hiding in my mind for several years..
no one would understand how I suffer within these years...
Not because of others, not because of my study
it's just because of me....
when would it stop?
I don't know..
I just hope that there is another way for me to happy..
No more escape...
I will slowly habit it..and face it soon......

Now,
I'm feeling helpless....
But who will company with me?!
no ones...
just my bed and...
those meaningful memories...

well, goodnight..the "EMO" night..